Whether I like it or not, if there is one person in my life who will always set me straight, it’s my mother. Our relationship has never lacked honesty, that’s for sure. I don’t always like what she has to say but I know that I am going to hear it regardless.
Last night at dinner, as I sat there eating yet another salad, I got called a “fraud”. I told you, there’s no sugar-coating. Basically she said, “Mallory, sometimes I wonder if it is actually you writing your blog. You never eat the things that you go and rave about.” Which is only partially true. I always try at least 1 serving of something before I go and share the recipe. I just don’t eat the whole batch.
So as a food blogger, does this make me a fraud? There are a few things you have to understand about me before you draw any conclusions. First of all, I like baking and cooking for the sake of baking and cooking. I never make a batch of cookies with the intentions of eating most of them myself. Which I guess you could argue that no one ever goes in with that intention, but I can honestly say that I have never been left staring at an empty cookie sheet wandering, “where the heck did all of those go?”. I thrive off of sharing my food with others and watching their reactions when they eat it. At the same time, I have never struggled with self control. I don’t mean this in an “oh look at me I never give into temptation” way, I am just stating a fact. If I tell myself not to eat something, I won’t eat it.
It all relates back to the bigger picture and I am an extremely regimented person. It doesn’t matter whether it is about food or life in general, I like plans and I like routine. I am going to set my mind on something, put the blinders on and accomplish that goal, whatever it may be. You may say that sure does not leave a lot of room for fun. I guess it doesn’t in the traditional sense, but fun is subjective. I love checking things off my list. That is fun for me.
I am intrinsically motivated to create a recipe, make it, take pictures and post it. Eating the food is an extra caveat that is attached to making it. Again, if you don’t like to cook, this probably does not sound like a lot of fun. Most people would question the point of going to all of the effort to make something if you are not going to eat it, or only eat a bit of it. I will counter that with the fact that after awhile, you don’t want to eat anymore. I learned back in culinary school that the more time you spend preparing food, the less desire you have to consume it.
My health has always been one of my top priorities. The more sweets I make, the more I want to eat salads. That is exactly what I have been doing for the past few days. I need a break from “bloggable” food. I just want to eat clean food. Yes, you can make “healthy” dessert recipes but it is still different from eating raw fruits and vegetables in their purest form. What it all comes down to is that fact that you have to be happy with your diet. I haven’t been lately. Frankly I don’t think I have ever felt worse about it. To change that, I am on a hiatus from baking for the next little while.
The thing is, in our capitalist society, you give the consumer what they want. Food blogging is no different. People don’t care to read about my fruit/veggie “cleanse”, for lack of a better word. They want a recipe for Nutella bread, something that is about as over the top as you can get. Or at least that is my take on it. Maybe you do want to hear about this. Do you? I’m sure there are other bloggers and people involved in the culinary industry in general that can relate to the feeling of throwing your health out the window for what you do. It’s a careful balance and sometimes that requires taking a break.
Whether this all makes me a fraud, that’s for you to decide. But let me tell you, it’s not all cupcakes, cookies and rainbows.